JOKES

Controlling

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your […]

JOKES

Punctuation

An English professor wrote up on the board “woman without her man is nothing” and told his students to punctuate it. The males in the class wrote “Woman, without her man, is nothing.” The Females wrote “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”

JOKES

In the toy department

Darren remembers accompanying his father out shopping in the toy department of Hamleys one Christmas Eve. Dad said, “What a marvelous train set. I’ll buy it.” The girl behind the counter looked pleased and murmured, “Great, I’m sure your son will really love it.” Dad replied with a glint in his eye, “Maybe you’re right. […]

JOKES

Reasons to go to school

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school!” “But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.” “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.” “Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!” “Oh, that’s no […]

JOKES

Birthday gift

Joe was sitting at a bar. He was totally depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked what was wrong. “I’ll never understand women.” – said Joe. “The other night on my birthday, my wife said as my gift, I could do with her what I wanted.” “Wow! That’s quite some gift.” – said the […]

JOKES

Do you know who am I?

“Isn’t the principal a dummy!” said a boy to a girl. “Well, do you know who I am?” asked the girl. “No.” replied the boy. “I’m the principal’s daughter.” said the girl. “And do you know who I am?” asked the boy “No,” she replied. “Thank goodness!” said the boy with a sign of relief.

JOKES

Daughter’s direction

The new family in the neighborhood overslept and their six-year-old daughter missed her school bus. The father, though late for work himself, had to drive her. Since he did not know the way, he said that she would have to direct him to the school. They rode several blocks before she told him to turn […]

JOKES

Mother can cook

Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating straight away. “Jonny, wait until we’ve said our prayer,” his mother reminded him. “I don’t have to.” – the little boy replied. “Of course you do.” – his mother insisted. “We say a prayer […]